This Unholy Mess

If the Ten Commandments don’t really do it for you but you can’t quite stomach Dr. Phil either, then why not dip your mental big toe into This Unholy Mess? I can sound as authoritative as Oprah, as enthusiastic as Joel Osteen, and as esoteric as Ron Hubbard—and I can do it all without the terrible burden of wealth and notoriety that might risk infusing my writing with a bit of legitimacy. Much of what you will find on the blog is political, if only because I am a fan of tragi-comedy; but there are plenty of offensive religious and social topics to disturb just about anyone with a reasonably closed mind, a slight chip on his shoulder, and a desire to confront people belligerently from the safety of a computer keyboard. Enjoy!


First, I want to offer hearty thanks to Paul Moser for allowing me to use his space in furtherance of free speech in America. It is selfless acts like this that have put him on the speed dial of the Pulitzer Journalism Committee, and occasionally provided him with a free slice of day-old pizza from sympathetic local merchants. My aim in writing this piece is simple: I want to let everyone know that although the average supporter of Mr. Trump appears lost in a fog of resentment and seemingly deliberate ignorance—all in service to the president’s erratic and mendacious activities—there is a small part of each and every one of them that is still sane. I know it might be hard to believe, considering some of the outrageous garbage that they seem to happily absorb from his word salads (topped with Russian dressing, of course), but it’s true. I should know, because I am one of those small bits. And I can assure you that there are tiny portions of honesty, heart and even brains in many other Trump people. You might not be aware of us because of their frequent unhinged, absurd, and/or bigoted statements, but we, these barely visible slices of sanity, like to see ourselves as real patriots, discouraging Trumpers in their worst impulses. For example, we have been instrumental in slowing idiotic efforts to find Clinton-owned child porn businesses in pizzerias around the country, or the identities of millions of non-existent illegal voters, or pretending that Melania can stand the sight of him. Sometimes we feel good just preventing these people from biting the heads off of live chickens. To be clear, we are not leftist bomb-throwers, not freaky socialists with pie-in-the-sky wishes such as a health care system that will prevent Americans from dying needlessly. We want to see the president succeed in the parts of his agenda that are most sensible. These would include finding a brand of tanning bed that will provide him with a more natural look, as well as encouraging him to establish a healthy, stable relationship with Stormy Daniels while getting a nice gig as host of an early evening game show on a major network. Maybe even getting an actual hair stylist. We are not unaware of the danger...   Read more

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